It’s funny what happens when we discover something new. For example, I have never heard of American philosopher and psychologist William James, until I found his simple words of Pinterest.
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
It was the reassurance, comfort and inspiration I needed to get going again.
Equally, discovering American film critic Roger Ebert via the documentary Life Itself about his life and death also helped to open my eyes. Here was a man who had achieved a tremendous amount even in his dying days, simply to continue to follow his passion for film criticism and writing; he was left unable to speak, but could still write.
After making some decisions the last couple of days and having talked with friends and my husband, I have been really surprised at the effects. I feel more focussed and am finding more inspiration. I even started writing a scene with Will from Wendy’s House in bed in the dark one night- the quiet allowing me some freedom that I was grateful for.
It comes down to a few key points really, and these go for my day to day and my long term plans.
I’ve got to at all costs get rid of any guilt I feel around my creativity and productivity. I was acting ‘selfishly’ (my level of selfish) when I decided to sit down and watch Life Itself. I needed a bit of me time and I wanted to watch something I hadn’t seen before. That one small act meant I was genuinely inspired for the first time in ages. Even if I bin off something I need to do like housework, if I’ve had a productive session, it was worth it.
This applies to my thoughts regarding success too. I often berate myself for not being as successful as I want to be. I often blame myself entirely and scold my younger self for not trying harder. This is not only hugely untrue, but unfair to myself. I’ve achieved plenty and will hopefully achieve more. So long as I’m trying my best I have nothing to feel guilty about, and maybe not even then. Guilt is not helpful.
Thinking about my career, my long and short term goals, I’ve decided I need to continue to upskill. I thoroughly enjoyed my blog writing course and learning new things, so whether that’s formal training or not, I’d like to branch out. I’ve been considering a professional course or perhaps even a master’s degree. This may not necessarily be in marketing, maybe copywriting, maybe publishing, I’ve yet to decide. I think keeping an open mind is key. I’m not stuck unless I want to be, there’s a solution to every problem.
I have decided to give myself the rest of the year pursuing publication via the traditional route. This is for two reasons really; firstly, I would need to invest in myself to pursue this goal and with moving house, money is not so readily available (similarly, it’s unlikely I’ll undertake another qualification until next year if I’m paying for it myself) and secondly, I think my lack of self-worth has been clouding my judgement on this subject. I’ve found myself leaning towards self-publishing because of frustration, because of my need for control and my fear of rejection. But I need to stay out of my comfort zone for a bit longer, to remind myself to believe that my work is worth an agent’s and publisher’s time- if I don’t believe it, no one else will.
Also, hopefully during this time I can complete Wendy’s House. So if/when I go down this route, I can use my second novel to keep interest going in my writing after Latest Mistake has been released.
Overall, I need to exercise patience and resilience in every aspect of my life in order to be happier, more secure and more confident in myself. I can’t guarantee people’s care, consideration or support so I have to do this, be this for myself.
Thanks to PictureQuotes.com for today’s image!