Things are changing

So my husband and I have had some fantastic news. We’ve successfully purchased our first flat.

In preparation to move, I decided to turn my attention to my desk. I have always been a person to have lots of things around my desk, for inspiration and comfort; artwork, trinkets, quotes, photographs – I decided to sort everything out. Here’s a before and after shot!

Before!

After!

I’m happy with the cleaner, less cluttered result. In fact, I had earlier this year told my husband that I needed to reign myself in. Recently I have been finding the items on the wall restricting rather than freeing, and I’ve been trying to figure out why, as I have always had things on the wall.

I think perhaps it simply comes down to the fact that I don’t express myself the way I used to when I was a teenager or younger adult.

Some things will never stop being important to me, such as my Julius Caesar quote I shared as part of my second blog post, but perhaps staring at them all the time has lessened their effectiveness.

Plus, some of the items haphazardly stuck on the wall with blu-tac are very precious to me, such as my Godson’s birth announcement and the first photograph of my nephew. These things should be in frames or in albums, protected from being spoiled.

In our new home, my husband and I will likely be embarking on a big change – sharing an office. We have never done this. All of the time that we’ve known each other, we have used computers in separate rooms, even when once upon a time I didn’t have an office and used to write on the small, round dining room table. My husband has seen a design for two desks which can fold in and out to save space so in fact my beautiful white desk is likely to be sold, donated or thrown away soon.

I’m rather excited to share with him, to try it out. However, my fear I suppose is that, creatively, I am rather private. But more than that, writing is emotionally very personal and exhausting. Not to say my husband hasn’t seen these creative stirrings before, he has, but as you all know by now, self-consciousness is one of my bigger pitfalls.

The start of this new adventure is helping to motivate me creatively. It’s so easy to become disillusioned and distracted (by my running training for example!) but I need to refocus, on this blog, on my career plans and how to have fun again writing. I think it’s that which is holding me back to be honest. It’s a confession, a realisation that I have to accept and explore. It’s just not as fun any more.